The Result of the Wrestle

A couple of months ago I was on a ministry event in which I was working with someone that I had not seen for 18 months. On the second day of the event, she came to me that morning and said that she saw something different in me that she hadn’t seen when she last saw me 18 months ago. She began to explain that on the previous day she had been observing me and, in just the few hours she was around me, she saw a joy and peace in me that she hadn’t observed in me 18 months prior. Of course I accepted that compliment and responded that I had had a very difficult time during those 18 months so I had really pressed into strengthening my relationship with God and it blessed me that she could see that change in me after only a few hours.

So as we continued with the event that week, this and other comments from others really solidified within me that there had been a visible out-working of what God had been doing within me for a year and a half. As the week ended and I reflected upon the goodness of God and His faithfulness to use me during that ministry event in the way that He did, I leaned more into the compliment that had been given to me at the beginning of that week. That is when I realized that it was “the result of the wrestle”.

In Genesis 32:22-32, there is the account of Jacob wrestling with God until he received his deliverance. Jacob was left with not only a new perspective of God and revelation of His power, but he also walked away from that encounter with a visible limp. Something that he could see to remind himself of the encounter and something others could see to bear witness of the change.

The 18-month timeframe that I reference here was an absolute horrendous time in my life. I had been believing God for something and I felt as if I was moving in pace with Him as I navigated through the circumstances. Then, like a swift kick in the gut, I learned that I had missed God by what seemed like a million miles. Honestly, I felt as if He had misled me and played with my emotions, those emotions that I barely understood how to deal with in the first place. If I was ever on the verge of giving up, it was then. I was literally at my breaking point and that was a dangerous place to be. But there was something inside of me that just would not let me walk away. I can literally say that the fight was in me. To recall it now, everything makes sense, but in the process nothing was comprehensible.

For years, I have been growing in my dependence on God and working toward strengthening my relationship with Him. There was a lot of growth and a lot of strength needed. I erraneously thought that I had “arrived” at a certain stature in regards to my relationship with God and though I was far from perfect, I just knew that my devotion to Him and my service in response to that devotion was placing me in a position to receive all that I had desired from God. I was wrong, and I realized that God was using this circumstance to reveal that to me. This particular 18-months was my “wrestle” with God, just as Jacob had his wrestle. In that proverbial night season, I pressed in to know God, to see God, to hear God. I had determined that I would not let go, because to live for God was literally all I had to live for. I asked the hard questions and I got some hard answers, I also still have some unanswered. I pursued God with all my might and when the night passed and the daybreak arrived, joy unspeakable is what I had to show for it.

That is “the result of the wrestle.” Many people think that “wrestling” with God is just arguing with Him. But, let me assure you that it is not. To wrestle with God is to press in to see things from His perspective and, when His perspective in inperceivable, to just know that He is — “a rewarder to those who diligently seek Him” (Hebrews 11:6). When we argue with God, we cannot win…that is impossible! But when we wrestle with God, we do win! We win faith, hope, joy, and peace. Not a peace [joy, faith, hope] according to how the world would classify it (John 14:27), but according to the grace that is given to us by our Lord and saviour Jesus Christ (2 Corinthians 13:14) who was the atoning sacrifice for us (1 John 2:2). So, please allow me to encourage you to wrestle with God. He is a big boy, He can handle it. In fact, He invites it (Matthew 11:28-30). But you mustn’t have the mindset of getting your way, you must approach it from the standpoint of seeing His way and desiring to stand in agreement with Him.

“Are you weary, carrying a heavy burden? Then come to me. I will refresh your life, for I am your oasis. Simply join your life with mine. Learn my ways and you’ll discover that I’m gentle, humble, easy to please. You will find refreshment and rest in me. For all that I require of you will be pleasant and easy to bear.”
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭11:28-30‬ ‭TPT‬‬

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